This is the measure and goal of all punishments and vexations, just as parents chastise their children in order that they may be corrected and return to the way, not because parents plan to destroy or disinherit them; for this would be alien to the love put into their hearts by God. And in Eph. 6:4 and Col. 3:21 Paul is careful to warn them not to provoke their children to wrath, lest they become discouraged. The chastisement should be of such a kind that love and filial confidence toward parents and teachers remain and that children understand that they are not suffering correction for their destruction, but rather that they may continue to do their duty and show their father no cause to disinherit them because of their wickedness. It is usual for this to happen to those who cannot be corrected by words or blows and later incur punishment at the hands of a judge or executioner because of thefts, robberies, or other outrages after they have thrown off paternal authority. (Luther’s Works, v. 7 p.254).

6. On the other hand, parents cannot earn hell more easily than by neglecting their own children in their own home and by not teaching them the things spoken of above. What use is it if they fast themselves to death, pray, go on pilgrimages, and do all manner of good works? After all, God will not ask them about these in the hours of death and on the day of judgment, but will require of them the children he entrusted to their care. This is shown by the word of Christ in Luke 23[:28–29], “You daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me but for yourselves and your children. The days will come when they will say, ‘Blessed are the wombs that never bore, and the breasts which never gave suck!’ ” Why should they lament in this way if it does not mean that all their condemnation will come from their own children? If they had not had children, perhaps they might have been saved. These words certainly ought to open the eyes of parents and make them think about the souls of their children so that the poor children would not be deceived by the parents’ human love and made to believe they had rightly honored their parents because they had not shown anger toward them or had been obedient to them in everyday affairs. This serves only to strengthen the children’s self-will, although the commandment puts the parents in the place of honor so that the children’s self-will is broken and they are made humble and meek.

It has been said in reference to the other commandments that they are to be fulfilled in relation to faith, the chief work. It is the same in this instance. Nobody must think that the training and teaching of his children is sufficient in itself. It must be done in confidence of God’s favor. A man must have no doubt that he is well pleasing to God in what he is doing, and he should let work of this kind be nothing else but an expression and exercise of his faith. He should trust in God and look to him for blessings and a gracious will. Without faith of this kind no work is a genuine living work: it is neither good nor acceptable. Many heathen have brought their children up charmingly, but all that is lost because of their unbelief. (Luther’s Works, v. 44 p.86-87).

Just think what a great lesson this is! How many good works you have at hand in your own home with your own child who needs all such things as these like a hungry, thirsty, naked, poor, imprisoned, sick soul! O what a blessed marriage and home that would be with such parents! That home would indeed be a true church, a chosen cloister, yes, a paradise! It was of such places that the psalmist sang in Psalm 128[:1–4], “Blessed are they that fear God and walk in his commandments. You shall eat of the labor of your hands. On this account shall you be happy and all will go well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in your house, and your children like the young shoots of laden olive trees around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears God.” Where are such parents? Where are those who inquire after good works such as these? Nobody comes forward. Why? Because God has commanded these works! The flesh and the devil pull you away from these works. There is no pomp or show about them; therefore, we assume they are worth nothing. Husbands run to St. James, wives make vows to Our Lady. No one vows to train and teach himself and his child to honor God properly. Those whom God has commanded a man to keep in body and soul he leaves behind, and wants to serve God in some place or another, something that was never commanded. No bishop forbids and no preacher rebukes such a perverse practice. In fact, in the interests of their own covetousness the clergy endorse such practices. Every day they think up more and more pilgrimages, canonizations of saints, and indulgence fairs. May God have mercy on such blindness! (Luther’s Works, v. 44 p.85-86).

5. Thus it is true, as men say, that parents could attain salvation by training their own children, even if they were to do nothing else. If parents do this by rightly training them to God’s service, they will indeed have their hands full of good works. For what are the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the sick, the alien if not the souls of your own children? With these God makes a hospital of your own house. He sets you over them as the hospital superintendent, to wait on them, to give them the food and drink of good words and works. [He sets you over them] that they may learn to trust God, to believe in him, to fear him, and to set their whole hope upon him; to honor his name and never curse or swear; to mortify themselves by praying, fasting, watching, working; to go to church, wait on the word of God, and observe the sabbath. [He sets you over them] that they may learn to despise temporal things, to bear misfortune without complaint, and neither fear death nor love this life.

… It has been said in reference to the other commandments that they are to be fulfilled in relation to faith, the chief work. It is the same in this instance. Nobody must think that the training and teaching of his children is sufficient in itself. It must be done in confidence of God’s favor. A man must have no doubt that he is well pleasing to God in what he is doing, and he should let work of this kind be nothing else but an expression and exercise of his faith. He should trust in God and look to him for blessings and a gracious will. Without faith of this kind no work is a genuine living work: it is neither good nor acceptable. Many heathen have brought their children up charmingly, but all that is lost because of their unbelief. (Luther’s Works, v. 44 p.85, 86-87).