The first work is that we should honor our own father and mother. This honoring does not consist in merely showing them all deference. It means that we obey them, have regard for what they do and what they say, esteem them highly, give way to them, and accept what they say. It means that we endure their treatment of us without complaint, so long as it is not contrary to the first three commandments, and, in addition, provide them with food, clothing, and shelter when they are in need. For it is not without purpose that he has said, “Thou shalt honor them.” He does not say, “Thou shalt love them,” although it means that as well. But honor is higher than mere love, and includes within it a kind of fear which unites with love and has such an effect upon a man that he fears offending them more than he fears the ensuing punishment. It is just as there is fear in the honor we pay a holy place, and yet we do not flee from it as from a punishment, but draw all the more near to it. True honor is such a fear mingled with love. The other kind of fear that is without love is the fear of those things which we despise or avoid, e.g., the fear of the hangman or of punishment. There is no honor in that, for it is fear without love: in fact, it is a fear mixed with hatred and hostility. We have a proverb of St. Jerome about this: What we fear, we also hate. God does not want to be feared or honored with that kind of fear, nor does he want our parents honored with this kind of fear, but rather with the first kind, the kind mingled with love and confidence” (Luther’s Works, v. 44 p.81).

By soothing the Galatians this way Paul prepares their minds to bear the fatherly rebukes with filial feeling. This is like tempering absinthe or bitter medicine with honey and sugar to make it sweet again. Thus when parents have given their children a sound thrashing, they soothe them by offering them cookies, cakes, pears, apples, and such little presents, by which the children recognize that the parents meant it for their good, even though the punishment was severe. (Luther’s Works, v. 26 p.417)

On the other hand, if one stubbornly insists on the force of the Greek word, namely, that κατὰ πρόσωπον, “according to face,” always means “according to appearance”—as in John 7:24: “Do not judge by appearances”—this still does not demand the conclusion that there was hypocrisy on Paul’s part. On the contrary, the sense will be this: Paul was indeed in earnest when he opposed Peter and rebuked him verbally, but he did not do so from a malicious heart. It is in this way that Ecclus. 7:24 speaks: “Do you have daughters? Be concerned for their bodies, and do not show your face cheerful toward them.” Thus parents are stern to their children “according to face,” not from the heart, yet not hypocritically either. And every Christian should maintain cordial pleasantness and a feeling of unity when reproving a brother and disagreeing with him. But even of God Himself it is said (Lam. 3:33): “For He does not willingly afflict or grieve the sons of men.” But who would say that God plays the hypocrite when He scourges men and rejects them? Thus Paul rebuked Peter with a real reproof. He was harsh toward Peter “to his face” but affectionate toward him in his heart. Therefore Peter’s guilt was real and deserving to the highest degree of reproof, and in neither man was there any hypocrisy of the kind St. Jerome supposes. There was, however, that earlier hypocrisy by which Peter compelled the observance of Jewish and legalistic practices. (Luther’s Works, v. 27 p. 214).

It is the duty of good parents to instruct their children from childhood in the fear of God on the basis of sound literature of Christian women. Here we see that a pig will train a pig, but that human parents do not know anything. Such a man is not even pagan; he is beastly. Matrons, Paul wants to say, have no need to wear themselves out with foolish and self-chosen works. They have tasks at home to keep them busy, but they turn away from these to pilgrimages and the like. It has been truly said that a father will find eternal life in his offspring; that is, a father has plenty of opportunity in his household to practice his piety, and if anything is left over, to distribute it to his neighbor. But let him see to it that he does not neglect his own household. (Luther’s Works, v. 29, p. 54 on Titus 2:8)

Thus he instructs matrons to be good teachers and to train younger women to love their husbands and children. I have said what it means to love one’s husband, namely, not merely to cohabit with him but to respect one’s husband, to regard him as lord, to submit to him in all things, not to be domineering. This is a rare quality in a woman, for the female sex inclines naturally toward what is forbidden to it; it wants to reign, to rule, and to judge. From this there come marital discord, blows, and beatings. To love children means not only to educate them for the world but to see to it that they are provided for in body and in soul. For such love the rod and discipline are required, as Prov. 3:11 and 23:13 say; and Ecclesiasticus says (Ecclus. 30:1): “He will whip him often,” because there is foolishness in the heart. Such love is also rare. People love their children for the sake of the pomp of the world. They adorn and save their possessions for them. They do not enrich their souls with the arts, with study, with sound literature. (Luther’s Works, v. 29, p. 54 on Titus 2:8)

Here belongs Molech, that is, a king. For these people make great lords, doctors, and masters who are skilled in ruling others. We can see before our very eyes how no one can become a preacher or a pastor unless he is a master or doctor, or has at least attended the university. One must first crown the donkey; then he goes forth and rules. And the parents do not see, or if they see they pay no attention to the fact, that nowhere is youth more grossly corrupted and misled, since no one prevents it. That they fall into fornication, gluttony, and other open wickedness is the least of their corruption; but that they are instructed in false, heathenish art and ungodly, human doctrine is the fire of Molech. No one can bemoan that enough, for through it the most devout and clever lads are miserably ruined in the universities. So great is the wrath of God over this valley of Topheth and Hinnom [II Kings 23:10; Jer. 7:31] that those who learn most and best and live in chastity are ruined more miserably than those who learn nothing and live in fornication. For the latter learn nothing which ought to be unlearned again; they are well aware that they are doing wrong. The former, however, absorb poisons of which they can never rid themselves; they hold evil to be good and teach this also to their pupils. All this is what accounts for the fact that the sun of the gospel is darkened and obscured by human teaching. (Luther’s Works, v. 36 p.224

There are various reasons why parents neglect this duty. In the first place, there are some who lack the goodness and decency to do it, even if they had the ability. Instead, like the ostrich [Job 39:14–16], they deal cruelly with their young. They are content to have laid the eggs and brought children into the world; beyond this they will do nothing more. But these children are supposed to live among us and with us in the community. How then can reason, and especially Christian charity, allow that they grow up uneducated, to poison and pollute the other children until at last the whole city is ruined, as happened in Sodom and Gomorrah [Gen. 19:1–25], and Gibeah [Judges 19–20], and a number of other cities?

In the second place, the great majority of parents unfortunately are wholly unfitted for this task. They do not know how children should be brought up and taught, for they themselves have learned nothing but how to care for their bellies. It takes extraordinary people to bring children up right and teach them well.

In the third place, even if parents had the ability and desire to do it themselves, they have neither the time nor the opportunity for it, what with their other duties and the care of the household. Necessity compels us, therefore, to engage public schoolteachers for the children—unless each one were willing to engage his own private tutor. But that would be too heavy a burden for the common man, and many a promising boy would again be neglected on account of poverty. Besides, many parents die, leaving orphans, and if we do not know from experience how they are cared for by their guardians it should be quite clear from the fact that God calls himself Father of the fatherless [Ps 68:5], of those who are neglected by everyone else. Then too there are others who have no children of their own, and therefore take no interest in the training of children. (Luther’s Works, v. 45 p. 354-355).

When I was a lad they had this maxim in school: “Non minus est negligere scholarem quam corrumpere virginem”; “It is just as bad to neglect a pupil as to despoil a virgin.” The purpose of this maxim was to keep the schoolmasters on their toes, for in those days no greater sin was known that that of despoiling a virgin. But, dear Lord God, how light a sin it is to despoil virgins or wives (which, being a bodily and recognized sin, may be atoned for) in comparison with this sin of neglecting and despoiling precious souls, for the latter sin is not even recognized or acknowledged and is never atoned for. O woe unto the world for ever and ever! Children are born every day and grow up in our midst, but, alas! there is no one to take charge of the youngsters and direct them. We just let matters take their own course. The monasteries and foundations should have seen to it; therefore, they are the very ones of whom Christ says, “Woe unto the world because of offenses! Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a millstone fastened round his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt. 18:7, 6). They are nothing but devourers and destroyers of children.

Ah, you say, but all that is spoken to the parents; what business is it of councilmen and the authorities? Yes, that is true; but what if the parents fail to do their duty? Who then is to do it? Is it for this reason to be left undone, and the children neglected? How will the authorities and council then justify their position, that such matters are not their responsibility?  (Luther’s Works, v. 45 p. 353-354).

The same applies to you, the mother of a family, if you train your daughter or your maid badly. It is a commandment which is laid upon you, not something which is merely given to you. For if you are able to rear your daughter well and do not do so, you are the one who has ruined her. Conditions are such in Christendom that unfortunately no estate [Stand] knows what it is any more. It is no small thing when a young woman is well reared and becomes a good mother, who is then able to bring up her children in piety. Therefore you parents should learn that you are not excluded from this fourth commandment. There is no lack of learned men now, for at the present time you have learned men, such as the world has never seen before. (Luther’s Works, v. 51 p. 151)

Remember and help to raise up good people, that you, father, may raise up a devout son, you, mother, a devout daughter, who in turn will raise up their children in piety. Thus the servants will also be well trained. A prince and the cities need good people. The prince needs councilors, the cities need pastors and learned men.

Therefore, do not say, as some people are saying these days: Priestcraft doesn’t count any more. If you note that your child can become an able boy, send him to school. If you do not do this, you will have to give an account, and you are a rogue who is against the prince and the city and disobedient to your God. Hitherto scholars have been educated in order to become canons. Now we must devote far more care to educating the children in order that we may find people who are capable of serving a country in its secular government and the cities in spiritual government as preachers and lectors. You see what murderous harm you do to the sovereign prince and the fatherland when you keep gifted boys away from study. (Luther’s Works, v. 51 p. 151)