“Accordingly, a happy and joyous marriage is very rare; for people do not distinguish the work of God from original sin. But Holy Scripture honors marriage with true and most ample praises and shows how it is the source and origin of the household, the state, and the church, which derive their origin and growth from it so far as their substance is concerned. In the church one seeks the glory of God; in the state, peace; and in the household, the rearing of children. In addition, marriage comprises a huge number of good works and fruits.

Hence God, Abraham, and those who are truly godly regard marriage in a manner that is far different from the view held by the pope, who considers only the lust and the pleasure, that is, original sin, and then also the cross and the afflictions in marriage.

Meanwhile, however, God, in His accustomed mercy, bears with the faults and the punishments of the original evil, because they are hidden, being covered by the blessing and the marvelous abundance of good works, These fruits the papists do not see but call them civil, secular, and carnal works. Consequently, they look at them as a horse and a mule does (Ps. 32:9). Their judgment is not in accord with Scripture, which points out the fruits and good works of marriage. Indeed, the heathen, too, approved of marriage and wanted to compel their youth to marry, in order that human society might be preserved. But those who, like the papists and the monks, avoided the accustomed troubles and vexations have devised unusual endeavors, works, and orders designed to please themselves and God. Thus even though they saw, they did not see the things that have been mentioned” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.249-250).

“But the ungodly give consideration to the vituperations and the inconveniences of marriage and therefore shun it and fall into the works of the flesh: uncleanness, fornication, and adultery, of which Paul says in Gal. 5:21: “Those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

I am discussing these matters rather carefully and extensively because I see that the Holy Spirit did not disdain to describe His own work at such great length. Ungodly and wicked men, who suppose that everything happens by chance, understand nothing in the Holy Scriptures and the creatures of God. But it is our duty to read and to instruct others, in order that from Holy Scripture we may gain knowledge of the creatures, and from the creatures of the Creator.

Scripture points out that God’s creature has been blinded and marred. For this reason it praises the dignity of marriage at such great length. We are to learn, and to teach others that marriage is not to be held in slight esteem, as the flesh and the world are in the habit of doing. They do not consider what marriage is but take into account only concupiscence, lust, and sensual pleasure. They strive for ease and riches, which are original sin itself, by which our wretched nature is horribly contaminated. Therefore instead of the pleasure and enjoyment hoped for, they eventually find vexation, grief, and trouble” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.248-249).

“Accordingly, this is a very fine chapter not only for doing honor to marriage but also for comforting the consciences of those who experience the inconveniences of marriage.

Inexperienced young people do not see the annoyances and burdens of marriage beforehand. Nor do they consider that they have the devil as their enemy. He hates the begetting of children as well as the respect, the mutual love, and the harmony of spouses. The bridegroom and the bride do not trouble themselves about these things. Therefore they should be taught to bring this trust with them: ‘Lord God, I have entered into this kind of life in accordance with Thy will and with an appeal for Thy help. Thou wilt give the grace and the blessing, that I may be able to bear the burdens that lie ahead.’ To this prayer God undoubtedly gives assent and answers: ‘Let what is being asked for be done.’” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.248).

“But one should not feel or think about this kind of life after the fashion of the heathen. No, one should acknowledge God as the Creator, and one should bend the knee in humility and implore Him in faith to bestow a companion and bedmate. When this spirit and faith are associated with the invocation; then one will be able to take care of everything else in a reasonable manner, to deal with one’s parents, and to listen to their advice. Later on, if everything does not turn out according to your wish, you nevertheless have this comfort: “I have prayed. I have asked God, my parents, and my relatives for advice. If anything untoward happens, I shall bear it calmly.” For it is a great comfort to have God as a Witness and Supporter, and one’s parents and relatives as confidants and advisers.

On the other hand, if you have entered into a marriage at your own risk and without the knowledge of your parents, it will everlastingly trouble and distress your heart. You will say: “Behold, I am being punished for my foolishness and obstinacy. I have displeased my parents; and I, in turn, am being burdened with every kind of misfortune.” That is an unbearable cross” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.248).

“What is more desirable than a happy and peaceful marriage, where mutual love reigns and there is a most delightful union of the hearts? A marriage of this kind is praised everywhere as a miracle. When I, as a young man, heard such commendations and praise of an honorable and happy marriage—likewise, when I read in Paul (Eph. 5:25): “Husbands, love your wives”—I used to wonder why this happened and what purpose it served to give exhortations and precepts about the love of spouses among whom one could often find not only love but even passion.

But experience has taught me that out of many marriages hardly one merits praise. From this fact stem those common disparaging statements: “The bed in which a wife lies is never free from wranglings and mutual bickerings.” On this account many men are most vehemently averse to marriage” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.247-248).

“Moreover, Isaac does not oppose his father but takes his advice with the utmost goodwill.

Therefore let all young people remember this example, and let them learn to respect the authority of their parents and the sanctity of the divine ordinance. Let them not think that intercourse is bestial, as the pope supposes it to be. But above all they should call upon their true Father and the Author of all things, in order that they may start without sin: “Lord God, Thou hast created me a man. Thou seest that I cannot be continent. I am calling upon Thee. Direct and bless my undertaking. Give me counsel and help. Choose for me a woman with whom I may be able to live honorably and to serve Thee, and by faith and prayer to overcome the inconveniences and difficulties of marriage.” Those who disdain these admonitions and are carried away by a blind impulse, without faith and prayer, will eventually experience, and be overwhelmed by, all kinds of misfortunes” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.247).

“Therefore Abraham is concerned about his son and about the bride and the family of his son. And this is a matter of divine right and has to do with the definition of marriage over against the pope, who makes a brothel of marriage and does not see any difference between the coition of beasts and that of human beings.

I do not doubt that very many girls were offered to Isaac and that among them there were some who were beautiful, rich, and of noble birth. But Abraham closes his eyes and forbids his son to marry any one of them, not because he opposes the honorable desire of his son, who, because of his age, was now ready for marriage, but because he wants by all means to give him a respectable girl in marriage, not one who would be his son’s ruin and an offense to the entire church” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.246-247).

“Therefore these dangers to his household came into his mind in order that he might not look for a beautiful or rich woman but might seek one who was honest and respectable, one who would be diligent and painstaking in managing the household. For to be subject to domineering wives is not only irksome but also disgraceful; and they should not lord it over their husbands but over oxen, sheep, and asses….

Abraham understood all these things, for he was a spiritual and intelligent man. Therefore he was unwilling to mix his seed with the blood of the Canaanites, lest his son become an idolater and the commingling of the seed lead at the same time to an intermingling of holy and idolatrous forms of worship. The worship of the saints is evidently plain and without show and splendor. On the other hand, the ungodly are puffed up with their righteousness, and by their show they very easily deceive the weak. Therefore Abraham saw that his son would nevertheless be in grave danger, even though he might not be led astray” (Luther’s Works, v.4 p.246).

“To sum the matter up: whoever finds himself unsuited to the celibate life should see to it right away that he has something to do and to work at; then let him strike out in God’s name and get married. A young man should marry at the age of twenty at the latest, a young woman at fifteen to eighteen; that’s when they are still in good health and best suited for marriage. Let God worry about how they and their children are to be fed. God makes children; he will surely also feed them. Should he fail to exalt you and them here on earth, then take satisfaction in the fact that he has granted you a Christian marriage, and know that he will exalt you there; and be thankful to him for his gifts and favors.

With all this extolling of married life, however, I have not meant to ascribe to nature a condition of sinlessness. On the contrary, I say that flesh and blood, corrupted through Adam, is conceived and born in sin, as Psalm 51[:5] says. Intercourse is never without sin; but God excuses it by his grace because the estate of marriage is his work, and he preserves in and through the sin all that good which he has implanted and blessed in marriage” (Luther’s Works, v. 45, p. 48).

“Let such heathen go their way; we will not argue with them. If they should be lucky enough to obtain such wives the marriages would still be un-Christian and without faith. They trust in God as long as they know that they do not need him, and that they are well supplied. He who would enter into wedlock as a Christian must not be ashamed of being poor and despised, and doing insignificant work. He should take satisfaction in this: first, that his status and occupation are pleasing to God; second, that God will most certainly provide for him if only he does his job to the best of his ability, and that, if he cannot be a squire or a prince, he is a manservant or a maidservant.

God has promised in Matthew 6[:25, 33], “Do not be anxious about what you shall eat, drink, and put on; seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.” Again Psalm 37[:25] says, “I have been young and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his children begging bread.” H a man does not believe this, is it any wonder that he suffers hunger, thirst, and cold, and begs for bread? Look at Jacob, the holy patriarch, who in Syria had nothing and simply tended sheep; he received such possessions that he supported four wives with a large number of servants and children, and yet he had enough. Abraham, Isaac, and Lot also became rich, as did many other holy men in the Old Testament.

Indeed, God has shown sufficiently in the first chapter of Genesis how he provides for us. He first created and prepared all things in heaven and on earth, together with the beasts and all growing things, before he created man. Thereby he demonstrated how he has laid up for us at all times a sufficient store of food and clothing, even before we ask him for it. All we need to do is to work and avoid idleness; then we shall certainly be fed and clothed. But a pitiful unbelief refuses to admit this. The unbeliever sees, comprehends, and feels all the same that even if he worries himself to death over it, he can neither produce nor maintain a single grain of wheat in the field. He knows too that even though all his storehouses were full to overflowing, he could not make use of a single morsel or thread unless God sustains him in life and health and preserves to him his possessions. Yet this has no effect upon him”  (Luther’s Works, v. 45, p.47-48).