You parents, on the other hand, must remember to show yourselves to be parents toward your children! For the fourth commandment calls you fathers and mothers, not tyrants, rascals, and scoundrels. Therefore, if you are a father or a mother, this commandment means you. If you are a burgomaster, or anyone who bears the name of father, see to it that you carry out your paternal office. You father, instruct your son, that he may fear God; you master, your servants; you burgomaster, your townsmen; you prince, your subjects. You too have been commanded. Your maids do not exist merely to wash the pots for you. Listen! this Commandment is for you. If you are not diligently concerned that your children and servants learn piety, then it serves you right if your children are disobedient and your servants unfaithful. For God does not give you your children to play with, nor does he give you servants for you to use them like asses for work. As you learn from me, so children and servants should learn from you parents and masters. (Luther’s Works, v. 51 p. 150-151)

The head of a household must punish and should not tolerate evil. But he must not be hateful and vengeful, lest in this way he corrupt the other person. A father does not punish his son in order to make him spiteful and ruin him in body and soul, but rather to ward off his vice; he wants to purify him and wipe away his faults. He hates, not the person, but the vice. This is a wrathful love which is kind and good toward the person; hence it cannot tolerate the nastiness in him. So, too, a woman cannot bear it when there is dirt on her child’s nose, but must wipe it away; she does not do this in order to hurt the child. Magistrates, teachers, and parents must chastise, but this chastisement is fatherly and kindly.

Solomon said, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” [Prov. 27:6]. When an enemy speaks kindly to you, this is not affection, but rather the devil, who is out to destroy you in your sins. Ah, he says, you’re doing fine; go ahead! But a friend will be willing to hurt you. This is a rod, but it comes from the heart of a friend.”

Up to this point he has been speaking of being patient and bearing with our neighbor. He now goes on to speak of whoever receives a gift. [“As each has received a gift, employ it for one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace” (I Pet. 4:10)]. If you speak, do so as one who speaks the Word of God. If you have an office, perform it as one who knows that it is of God.

(Luther’s Works, v. 51 , p.298).

And let no one think himself too wise for such child’s play. Christ, to train men, had to become man himself. If we wish to train children, we must become children with them. Would to God such child’s play were widely practiced. In a short time we would have a wealth of Christian people whose souls would be so enriched in Scripture and in the knowledge of God that of their own accord they would add more pockets, just as the Loci Communes, and comprehend all Scripture in them. Otherwise, people can go to church daily and come away the same as they went. For they think they need only listen at the time, without any thought of learning or remembering anything. Many a man listens to sermons for three or four years and does not retain enough to give a single answer concerning his faith–as I experience daily. Enough has been written in books, yes; but it has not been driven home to the hearts. (Luther’s Works, v. 53, p.64-67).